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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Downtown Kitchener
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    535

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    I can relate to your story from many angles. When I was 16, I moved in with my 23 year old sister. At 19 when I had my own place, my 16 year old brother moved in with me. Both situations were very bumpy with arguments and misunderstandings. As siblings, we loved/love each other a lot. So much in fact that we sacrificed our own need for space to help each other in tough times. Sure, we also took advantage of each other and did not respect each other's needs/rules. In the end, it was our continued kindness and civility to each other that helps up keep our relationships strong and what kept us from getting into really bad situations.

    I believe that the welfare of a 16 year old is the responsibility of the parent. Yes, the teenager must respect rules, as in all situations. Yet, the responsibility of managing several hundred dollars on a monthly basis is not a skill that can be grasped quickly. If the bills need to be paid, would it make more sense to make her aware of where the money goes but to avoid including her as a decision-maker until she is ready? I mean, similarly, most parents don't negotiate paying the bills with their teenagers.

    Your approach seems really well-thought out and quite admirable. Yet, it seems that her parents are not taking the leadership role that they need to be taking. She is a teenager, still a child learning how to handle herself and her affairs. She needs to be taught how to handle this situation with grace.

    Just speaking from my experience...

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    984

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    After my mother died I was raised by my grandparents. At the age of 13 I was paying them about $400 per month for room and board. The money came from an inheritance from my mom's death, so I never really felt that I was giving up anything.

    Unfortunately your sister has been given the feeling of what it's like to have all that money floating down on her "free", and now she's apparently going to squall like a toddler if it looks like she's going to lose any of it at all.

    Since her father is paying support directly to her, I assume she's an emancipated minor? That means the court could be tracking the money (FRO?) so it's not like the father can pay you what you're due and give her the remainder.

    It's a sticky whicket. It could be that because of the way things are going your only choice may be that you'll have to tell your sister to pay up or move out. She's the one holding the purse strings and it looks like she's got a feeling of entitlement and thinks she should get everything for free. Unfortunately that means you may have to make a decision between either letting her stay for free or asking her to leave.

    *hugs*

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    158

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    This thread is very old and out of date, my sister moved out on her own last summer (which was best for all of us).

    She is very spoiled and entitled and living with her was an awful experience. I celebrated for days when I found out she was leaving.

    Thanks everyone for the advice, but it probably wouldn't have helped anyways. I don't think I've ever met anyone as selfish as my little sister. We are on speaking/friendly terms, but I really don't like her as a human being and so I only spend time with her when I absolutely have to (family functions).

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Downtown Kitchener
    Posts
    535

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex's Mom View Post
    This thread is very old and out of date, my sister moved out on her own last summer (which was best for all of us).

    She is very spoiled and entitled and living with her was an awful experience. I celebrated for days when I found out she was leaving.

    Thanks everyone for the advice, but it probably wouldn't have helped anyways. I don't think I've ever met anyone as selfish as my little sister. We are on speaking/friendly terms, but I really don't like her as a human being and so I only spend time with her when I absolutely have to (family functions).
    Sounds kinda bittersweet.
    Mama to DS, Feb 2011

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    984

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    Sounds like things turned out for the best. I'm glad.

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