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freedomnow35
03-02-2009, 06:54 PM
My son got his first crush, and we just found out about it. What a nightmare he created this past weekend......

How do you deal with that?

We have both decided that our kids would not be able to date until they are 16. Its the last thing they need on their minds.

and boys are so different and I don't understand them at all.

For some odd reason my son decided that it would be ok to ask a girl for a nude photo, and asked if they could have sex in the near future. What the heck is that??

anyone else dealing with this?

I got my husband to go for a walk with him and explain that relationships don't work like that.

Oh and about the facebook, we knew he had it, we deleted the account, but didn't realize he could jsut reactivate it any time, so we changed the passcode and then delete it.

We DO not Approve of kids being on facebook in anyway.

Prid5
03-02-2009, 08:12 PM
wow...that is such a touchy subject. Does he feel comfortable coming to you to talk about sex and relationships? They get so much info from their friends when they dont feel like they can come to mom and dad and as we all know, friends are not the best source for info and there is also alot of peer pressure that goes with the info.
Also puberty gets the hormones going and I think it shuts down the brain. Which makes it that much more important to talk to kids about sex and relationships.
I dont agree with the set rule about dating..but whatever works for someone elses family works,right? I personally dont see anything wrong with a boy inviting a girl to the movies or a dance or out with friends at 13, if they are chapparoned (sp?) by parents. I think its a much better solution to a kid than sneaking around on facebook, or even at school, where they are more likely to act inappropriate.
My son is 10 and I ask him about girls all the time. He's told me some stories about other 10 yr old boys and how girl crazy they are and I ask him how he feels about it. For now, he thinks it is silly and he said he doesnt want to waste his time on that stuff right now,he has more interesting things to occupy his time than girls...lol...he is a funny guy. But I know there will be the day that he wont think that it is silly to be googoo over a girl. And whether it comes sooner or later, I just want him to be comfortable in coming to me about questions he might have,whether it be how to ask a girl out, how to treat a girl or how to be protected from disease/pregnancy (which i hope is many years away!)
I guess all we can really do is keep the dialogue open, talk about it often, dont make them feel like it is something to be embarrassed or dirty about, and be honest.

Bethikinz
03-02-2009, 08:28 PM
Kids have such a mishmosh of information coming at them from all kinds of sources. It's no wonder they get confused by it all. Hormones can take a seemingly normal kid and turn him into a totally unrecognizable creature. I have 3 sons. One is 16 ...6'4....hairy beast...but hasn't ever showed much interest in dating. One of the 11 year olds is very interested in girls, and talks about them all the time. Because he brings it up, it is a good opportunity for us to talk about what is appropriate etc. That doesn't mean he follows that advice, mind you, and has made a couple girls uncomfortable by his attentions. The other 11 year old is mr charming. The girls all call him...but he seems unfazed by it. He thinks girls are ok...but that they have some weird ideas sometimes. So..3 boys..3 different takes on girls.

As for Facebook....the 2 boys that have it rarely use it, so it hasn't been a problem for us.

freedomnow35
03-02-2009, 10:11 PM
I have no problem if they want to go out to show with a girl as long as its with a parent, or have friends over. Its dating alone without parent.

That is not allowed until 16.

Prid5
03-02-2009, 10:17 PM
Oh, okay. Did he have an explaination for doing these things?

freedomnow35
03-02-2009, 10:22 PM
He didn't have a answer for it. I let me husband deal with most of it as they are both male and figured he would be less embarresed by it.

I know he knows he did wrong, if you read the messages you see that 2 minutes after he sent the request he sent a sorry message.


Rob said he is going to start taking him out alone every sunday so they can have male time and can talk about all these things.

Bronson hit puberty at 8 and is very shy, so we both assumed we wouldn't have to deal with these issues yet.
but we are, and what a fun thing it is.....lol


I look at my 6 month old and remember when Bronson was that age, and how much he has changed. He is no longer my baby, kinda sad....sniff sniff

Prid5
03-02-2009, 10:56 PM
oh i hear you!! I really am not looking forward to the teen years...its hard enough already to let him have his space and not be too nosey but also be nosey enough...ugh!
at least he knows he did wrong and felt bad for it immediatly. That is a positive sign! I love the idea of your husband and him having there weekly man time too! I will keep that tip in my mind when my boys get that age. It must be so hard to be a teen these days.

Jennamoriss
05-03-2012, 10:58 AM
well.. your son is going to be a crusher , as a boy i don`t think is a problem.....but ,how many years does he have?

Tanya-Mae
07-21-2012, 01:39 AM
IMO Facebook and Skype have the real potential to be pure evil with kids. My DD, last fall, then 13, was caught doing all the stereotypical innappropriate stuff online. I reported the activity to the police and handed over all her wifi capable electronic devices over to the authorities to be processed. I am still waiting for word on the investigation which has dead-ended state-side. We are waiting for Skype to co-operate. All this happened despite having a "good girl" who gave all her usernamres and passwords to me. With regards to Facebook in particular... I am still trying to get Facebook to delete a profile I know she created but she denies, I don't have passwords for, and the police were unable to get into. Just beware... anyone can create countless number of profiles on Facebook, Skype, or whatever. Just because you know about one, the public one, does not guarantee you know aout all of them. My girl was doing her thing after school before I got home from work. She no longer uses a computer without my express consent following specific request from her. I only recently allowed internet access back on her ipod. Yes... I have mastered privacy setting and restrictions of devices.

snowrose
07-21-2012, 01:54 AM
My son is 10 and I ask him about girls all the time.

Rachel, your son is 10? Looking at your sig it looks like you have a 13 yo, a 5 yo, and a 4 yo? :confused:



He's told me some stories about other 10 yr old boys and how girl crazy they are and I ask him how he feels about it.

That sounds so strange, 10 year olds being girl crazy. I know DD is pretty focussed on boys right now but she's almost 12 and she's still in the looking and giggling stage.

mom2girls
07-21-2012, 01:59 AM
Rachel, your son is 10? Looking at your sig it looks like you have a 13 yo, a 5 yo, and a 4 yo? :confused:




That sounds so strange, 10 year olds being girl crazy. I know DD is pretty focussed on boys right now but she's almost 12 and she's still in the looking and giggling stage.

This is a very old thread;)

Meg
07-21-2012, 02:00 AM
Rachel, your son is 10? Looking at your sig it looks like you have a 13 yo, a 5 yo, and a 4 yo? :confused:

.

This thread is from 2009 - her son was 10 when she posted that.

snowrose
07-21-2012, 02:27 AM
Oh, for heaven's sake. Thanks, gals! I usually catch stuff like that. *rolling eyes at myself*