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View Full Version : Quiet forum - how many of us have teens?



Karen
10-13-2011, 02:31 AM
Just curious to know how many posters here have teens.
Karen

Bethikinz
10-13-2011, 03:02 AM
We have 3 teenage boys. They are 19, 14 and 13.

Prid5
10-13-2011, 12:01 PM
I'm brand new to the teen raising world! My boy just turned 13 a month ago. I thought raising toddlers was tricky, but wow...

KitchenerMom
10-13-2011, 12:11 PM
Sometimes it feels like Im raising a teenager but she is only 9. I am glad I have experienced Mommies to go to when she hits the teenage mark! :)

Shiraz
10-13-2011, 02:27 PM
I feel like a teen sometimes :) Just wondering what the "quiet forum", in the name of the thread, means.

Bethikinz
10-13-2011, 02:32 PM
I think she means that there's not many posts here.

ecomomma
10-13-2011, 03:33 PM
My oldest dd is 13, not too many issues so far.

Karen
10-13-2011, 03:37 PM
I think she means that there's not many posts here.

Yup. :)

Prid5
10-13-2011, 04:05 PM
ok mom's of teens. How do you keep the lines of communication open without feeling like you are prying or badgering? I will go into my sons room and ask him what's up, what he's up to, and the first thing out of his mouth is always "NOTHING" now. Really? Because I see you're reading or doing something on your computer or...Why say nothing when you're doing something?

My parents had minimal interaction with me as a teen. I turned out ok but I wish they had talked to me more, not as a parent, but as a friend. I want to be involved in what my kids are doing but I also don't want to be a stalker.

So, maybe I'm wondering, how do you get them to talk to you about everyday stuff. This isn't really something new with my oldest, he's always kept to himself, but I just feel that as he gets in his teen years, its even more important for me to keep talking...but I don't want to become one of THOSE mothers either. Maybe I'm asking the wrong questions?

KitchenerMom
10-13-2011, 04:53 PM
although Im not technically a mom of a teen.. but I have a teenage sister and a wanna be teen at home.

The "nothing" comment I find is almost instant whenever a question is asked like what are you doin or whats wrong?

Try NOT asking these questions. Instead.. say if you go in his room and his computer is open.. walk up and say wow that looks like an awesome game! how do you play that? And once you get INTO a conversation the barriers will be down and you can then start with the guarded questions like.. I noticed you seem down today what's up.. and if the nothing comes up just roll your eyes and say you know Im your mother and I know YOU better then anyone! I KNOW something isnt right.

One thing is do not give up.. Try again everyday... I know with my sister.. she will shut down and wont let anyone in.. And I will call her everyday asking her whats up and tell her that her big sister loves her .. most of the time I get a 'whatever bitch' but I keep it consistent and she will tell me whats going on sometimes..

Prid5
10-13-2011, 06:08 PM
Thanks Courtney. That was helpful! Yeah, I really need to work on the question asking instead of just "whats up?"
It is frustrating for sure. I miss the days when I was the world to him and everything was so exciting that he couldn't wait to share!

snowrose
10-13-2011, 08:32 PM
DD is 11 now, so not quite there yet. We've been getting the doing "nothing" for about a year now. *roll eyes*

Bethikinz
10-13-2011, 09:50 PM
My best conversations with the guys always happen in the car. If it's at night, even better. Once or twice a year we go out for a country drive at night. It's amazing what they will talk about and how much fun we have.

As for the 'nothing'...I get a lot of that too. BUT if I make a point of using open ended questions it really does help to keep the conversation going some of the time.

Shiraz
10-13-2011, 10:40 PM
I think she means that there's not many posts here.

Thanks :)

Prid5
10-13-2011, 10:42 PM
The drive is a good idea too! I am finding it hard to find one on one time with my oldest because he's a lot older than the other two and they still need me all the time. But we could do this! The little ones would be in their car seats, and in evenings/ night would likely fall asleep quickly, and then brother and I could chat. I like it!

Open ended questions. Got it. Gotta work on that!

Thanks!

freedomnow35
10-15-2011, 04:56 PM
I have a 15 year old son, and a tween who is 12. Very different experience!

I miss them as toddlers!!!!

ecomomma
10-15-2011, 08:06 PM
As for the communication, I stuggled with this too. I'll share with you the best advice I've gotten so far, and it works! Don't start by asking them about their day etc, start the conversation with what YOU did today. I find this works best around the dinner table, in no time at all I have to tell the others to hold on and wait their turn to talk about their day. Just be non-chalant. Goes something like this:
Me: "the funniest thing happened today at work....." (gets everyone giggling and lightens the mood).
DH: "oh, that reminds me, gues who I saw today......?"

You get the drift, within a few minutes no one can get a word in edgwise. I dont' know why it works though? For us I think they are just so sick of hearing my voice and blabber about my day, they just want to say anything that will steer the conversation away from me lol!

Tanya-Mae
02-06-2012, 03:32 AM
My daughter is 13, grade 8. She will be 14 this May. It has been an unbelievable roller coaster with her since she was 11.

erinladybug
02-06-2012, 12:54 PM
My 12 year old is turning 13 in a little over a month, I imagine not much will change. He's already hesitant to go anywhere on public with me. lol.

kyla
02-06-2012, 01:17 PM
I have a 17 year old girl and don't worry guys, it gets better. She loves to talk to me now, it's been much better since she turned 15. The 11-15 years were pretty tough though. I have 3 others yet to get through the teenage years too, wish me luck.lol.

Christine
02-06-2012, 04:28 PM
My son is going to be 16 in a few months. My daughter is 12 going on 18 and she is very challenging. Lots of emotions running through her, horomones, etc, etc. help! :)

Joan
02-06-2012, 05:31 PM
My son is going to be 16 in a few months. My daughter is 12 going on 18 and she is very challenging. Lots of emotions running through her, horomones, etc, etc. help! :)

Have a 12 year old girl as well so can completely sympathize.