View Full Version : I've been here before

02-12-2009, 12:19 PM
I was a single mom for a while, with two little kiddies, worked full time while dealing with a less than cooperative ex. Things do get better and easier. I've since remarried and had another child. :) ...although dealing with the ex still isn't a good experience. he lives in another province, rarely calls the kids, doesnt' pay child support, etc, etc but everything is still my fault. Anyway, didn't mean to make this a rant but rather a note to say if you ever would like to vent or talk I don't mind as I know what you're going through! :)

02-12-2009, 11:33 PM
Sorry to hear that the ex is such a absentee dad to the kids. I hope they don't mind that. Do they ever ask why he does not seem to care about them anymore?

02-13-2009, 08:15 PM
The kids are getting used to it, however it's still hard on them. My oldest said the other day that he's starting not to miss his dad anymore. What can you do? :)

02-17-2009, 07:02 PM
Christine, I can relate to what you are saying. My ex sees the kids 3X annually, that's it. (He lives in Sudbury) My son is young (and special needs) so he really does not know any different but this is extremely difficult on my daughter. He calls once maybe twice a month. I try my best to keep everything friendly but unfortunately that is becoming more and more impossible over time. He has had a common-law gf for a long time now but recently there has been some "incidents" when the kids have been visiting whereby she (and her mother) will grab the phone from my daughters hand and spontaneously direct a very verbally abusive tantrum towards me with the children in the room. My ex has no explanations for her behaviour but chooses to remain in this environment. It is very difficult! I have never met either of these woman (the commonlaw gf or her mother) yet I've been told that I am never allowed to phone or set foot on their property. Not sure how I'm going to hanle the kids next visit with their father... I do not under any circumstances want my children to be exposed to either of these two women again nor on the property... my ex lives with her and their are two houses on the property (the gf mother and father are in the other house.) My ex knows how I feel, says that he understands where I am comming from, but quite frankly I do not trust him to keep the children away.

02-17-2009, 08:32 PM
Oh my, I really feel for you and your kids, being in this situation. I'm not sure what I would do either. Have you considered a restraining order again her and her mother?

02-17-2009, 08:35 PM
Can't you make a request to the lawyers that these women are not allowed around your children, because of the behaviour issues that have occured in the past?? Your children should not have to be exposed to people like that.

02-18-2009, 12:36 AM
i think that is sooo wrong of those 2 woman, i never understood why the ex's new GF always feels its her proagitive to get involved!!!
My sons dad's ex GF was like that, she would always try to turn him against me, and say things that would start arguments!!!

02-18-2009, 03:25 PM
My sister-in-law (my ex's step sister) works in a civilian position with the Barrie police force and has been nothing but supportive of me, the kids, and our situation. She was the one who 1st put the idea of a restratining order in my head. I figure it just did not come to me because these incidents have just been another entry in the life experience. I decided to get my case active again to finalize my separation/divorce from him and talked to my laywer for advice. This was completely disappointing. her advise: simply hang up the phone when the gf starts this behavior (despite my kids in the background screaming?) Silly me thought I was in the "right" by knowing better than to be pulled down to her level, rather sinply asking for my ex to be put on the phone so that I can ask him if there was any place he could take the kids to escape this outburst. Then... when going over the proposed terms of our separation agreement I said I wanted provisions added that prohibit the children from being exposed to peopl;e and/or environments that blatently disrespected either parent.... the lawyer said no... can't include such things because there exists no "visitation police". ARGGG!!!! My only thoughts left now are WTF am I even doing here paying you an inflated rate of money to write terms that not only I can do myself, but once are written are meaningless?

Funny thing to remember: I have not ever met either of these two woman. It took years before I could even get my ex to come and bring the gf out of the closet...

I don't want to look like a fool going to the court house and requesting a "Peace Bond" but with my luck that is exactly what will happen so I've been putting it off. March Break is quickly approaching... historically the kids spend this with their father.

I've become much more transparent with the kids... ot hiding things from them so my daughter is well aware of what is going on. Sad but true... to be forced to deal with this crap out of the stupidity of certain individuals... she will be 11 this May. Her biggest worry right now is that she will be seeing her father even less now. Despite starting to come up with her own independent opinions of her father based on her experiences... she still does rightfully love him.

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea.