View Full Version : Dont choose to be

08-14-2010, 12:51 PM
Hubby and I are separating. This may come as a shock to people who know us both but it is true. It has nto been good for some time now and came to blows 3 weeks ago. he moved out and stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks and then came back last week to be with the kids but there was no contact between us and little words.

We both went to see a therapist and he said it is more destructive to be in the house together just for the kids and if we have any hope of saving our marriage then one of us should move out. Of course that is him since I am the one that is home with the kids.

I am said and upset and still love him but somethings got to change in order for us to be 'in love' again.

I need single moms to tell me how they got through it at the begining and how they were able to stay strong for the kids as I feel like I am going to have a breakdown any minute now.

I do have the support of my parents and my mil and also so very close and good friends who I can call on at any time.

We both want to work it out but it will take time. Also we are going to keep seeing the therapist and hope that helps too.

08-14-2010, 01:07 PM
Hugs! I really hope you guys can work through this!

08-14-2010, 01:16 PM
so do we kristina. Please dont say anything to the balmers of brian and heidie as they dont know yet.

08-14-2010, 01:26 PM
I won't, but h is on here from time to time, so you may want to let her know. Please let me know if there's something I can do

08-14-2010, 02:48 PM
HUGS!!! hope you can work through it.

DH and I went through something similar before we actually got married. We lived seperately and started to "date" again, that helped. We've been to counselling since we've been married as well.

The other advice to give is for you to each get your own counsellor to talk to and then have a seperate counsellor that you sit down with together.

08-14-2010, 03:32 PM
our therapist is amazing and having him for both is great. he does not discuss what was talked about in my session with mike or vise versa.

08-14-2010, 03:54 PM
I have no advise but I hope you guys can work this out!

08-14-2010, 06:08 PM
I have no advice but just hope you can work things out! Glad to hear you have the support of your family and friends! All the best!

08-15-2010, 03:12 AM
I am not married but I have read "the five love languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman, and it has helped my relationship. It is a bit older, I think, not sure my mom passed it on to me.
If you do check it out let me know what you think.

I don't know you but wish you strength , and am glad you have support, xo

08-15-2010, 11:56 AM
I am sorry you are going through a difficult time.

08-15-2010, 05:36 PM
Sorry to hear you're going through this. It's never easy. I'm glad you have some supports in place.

08-16-2010, 12:45 AM
Sorry to hear this :(

I'm not sure if you are religious at all? The book/movie Fireproof is faith based, but excellent. After seeing the movie I bought the "workbook" called The Love Dare, it really is a great tool when you are trying to work on things....although if you aren't living together it will be tough to do the assigned tasks. Lmk if you are interested in borrowing the book.

08-16-2010, 12:46 AM
just wanted to add that we are not religious, but still got alot out of it by ignoring the preachy parts.

08-16-2010, 01:06 AM
just wanted to add that we are not religious, but still got alot out of it by ignoring the preachy parts.

sent you a message

08-16-2010, 02:02 AM
I am sorry to hear about you and you husband!!!
i hope you guys can work things out or come to an understanding for the kids, i am not with my oldest's father anymore and it can be hard to get along sometimes

08-16-2010, 01:06 PM

08-18-2010, 12:28 AM
Oh gosh Kerry. *hugs*

Ali's Mom
08-18-2010, 02:59 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about what all you are going through. I really hope everything works out for you.

08-18-2010, 06:54 PM
:( hugs

08-18-2010, 09:13 PM
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this :(